From the bestselling author of A Boy Called Christmas, The Girl Who Saved Christmas, Father Christmas and Me and The Truth Pixie.*''A clawed masterpiece'' - Guardian*Barney Willow''s life couldn''t get any worse. He''s weedy, with sticky-out ears. Horrible Gavin Needle loves tormenting him. And evil headteacher Miss Whipmire seems determined to make Barney''s existence a complete misery! Worst of all, Dad has been missing for almost a year - and there''s no sign of him ever coming home.Barney just wants to escape. To find another life. To be a cat, for example. A quiet, lazy cat. Things would be so much easier - wouldn''t they?A darkly funny and adventurous tale from multi-award-winning author Matt Haig.