There is no other writer like him MAGGIE NELSON'I didn't want the book to end' BLAKE BUTLERA strange and brilliant teenager s first panic attacks lead him down the rabbit hole in this wild, highly anticipated debut novel about the joy and anxiety of youth by the acclaimed memoirist and cult writerNicholas has plenty of reasons to feel unstable. He s fifteen, the child of divorced parents, living with his mostly absent dad in the bleak Chicago suburbs and an outsider at school. Then, one day, he forgets how to breathe. The doctor says it s just panic, but Nicholas suspects that his real problem might not be psychiatric: maybe the Greek god Pan is trapped inside his body.As the paradigm for his own consciousness crumbles, Nicholas and his friends hunt for answers why in art, music and literature as they reach for a life beyond the confines of where they ve grown up and what s expected of them.Thrilling, surprising and startlingly funny, Pan takes us inside the human psyche, where we might just discover that the forces controlling our inner lives are more alien than we want to believe.'Tender and searching, an addictive philosophical quest' CHETNA MAROO I steal language and ideas from Michael Clune BEN LERNER