From 2005 to 2015, Michael M was the singer, bass player and songwriter of an indie rock band from Glasgow, Scotland called We Are The Physics. Don't worry if you've never heard of them, he wouldn't have either if he hadn't been in them.For fourteen brief minutes of fame, they were hurtled into the mainstream limelight, had a top thirty hit in the UK, toured the world with a Hollywood actor, and found themselves on nationwide radio accidentally changing the lyrics to Katy Perry's 'Firework' so that it was just about a plastic bag. Then, without ceremony, they disappeared completely.This memoir isn't a chronological catalogue of their existence but a series of vignettes and the anecdotal tales of failure, chronic mundanity, and ridiculous dismay that accompany low level touring bands. This is a celebration of the mediocre, the jobbing bands who never got on Top of the Pops, the almost almost famous. No sex, no drugs, no rock 'n' roll - just budget hotels, shame, and hilarious disappointment.